People pointing towards a senior business manGuilt never works but church leaders never tire of using guilt to motivate people to give and serve.  “We have not found anyone who loves the Lord enough to help us in our children’s area.”  That comment was made at a Bible study that my wife once attended.  I want to believe that the lady who said that regretted saying it later.  I hope so at any rate.  She may have been frustrated in her lack of recruiting anyone.  The situation might be dire in terms of volunteers.  Still, the comment was one of guilt.  That kind of comment never gets the right response.  Even if someone does respond it all too often is for the wrong reasons and ultimately no one wins.

I find that we in the church world use guilt all the time.  It is amazing that we celebrate and sing about grace and then turn right around and try to guilt people into serving or giving.  When it comes to stewardship guilt is the wrong method to use to increase your offerings.  While preaching a guilt laden sermon might increase the offering that Sunday those that struggle with giving will not make long term changes in how they approach stewardship.  They will either forget what you said or worse, leave your church for somewhere else.

I believe that churches do not talk too much about money.  I believe they don’t talk about it enough!  When they do they often do so utilizing guilt. It is not the frequency in which you talk about money it is how you talk about it that sets off people.  Too much preaching on the topic, when we preach on it at all, is guilt laden.  No wonder people are resentful.    Let me illustrate.

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 38 years.  When I do things for her out of love it is a joy.  When I do things because I feel guilty or compelled I feel trapped and resentful.  I just go through the motions and it is not an act of love.  There is no joy in it.  It is a burden and is wearisome.  To be fulfilled in marriage you have to come to the point that everything you do for your spouse is done because you love them.  Then there is never resentment or conflict.  The same is true in our Christian life.

Guilt puts burdens on people’s backs.  Love puts a passion in peoples hearts. When I serve or give out of guilt its a burden on my back that weighs me down.  I will either quit, stop giving or move on.  When it is something in my heart then there is no weight but joy in serving and giving.  When that happens I will continue to serve and give over and over, again and again.  This should be our goal not only for ourselves but for our church.

Right now honestly evaluate how you are motivating people to give and serve. Are you guilty of guilt?  Look over the notes of your last sermon on giving.  Was it based upon grace or law?  Think back on the offering times in the last few services.  Was guilt used to attempt to get people to give?  Guilt is the work of the flesh.  We need people to serve and give.  We simply need them to do so for the right reasons.  Not because WE made them feel guilty.

Guilt Never Works!

Mark Brooks- The Stewardship Coach

Founder and President, The Charis Group and Charis Giving Solutions

Every week I give my members offering talks that are never based upon guilt but always focus upon what giving accomplishes.  One of my new clients recently switched from his old giving plan and said this, “Your offering talks are better than the old plan I had.  Not only that you send them directly to my email box.  With my old plan I had to go hunt for them.  Yours is better!”  You can try my plan for 14 days for only a $1!  To sign up go to https://thestewardshipcoach.org/join-now/